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The typical job seeker spends countless hours trolling the internet, crafting clever cover letters, modifying resumes and managing their online applications. For any single opening, a lucky few are interviewed and a single candidate will land an offer. The odds are stacked against the majority of applicants who fall into the “black hole” of a broken recruiting process.

This is where many people get stuck. The black hole is filled with talented new grads, midlife career professionals and seasoned experts who keep doing the same thing hoping for a different result. Eventually, many job seekers give up on their dreams, take survival jobs and choose to wither away in poor fit positions.

Throwing in the towel could be an act of self-preservation in the short term. Receiving cursory rejection letters or, worse yet, getting the silent treatment from employers takes a toll on one’s self-confidence.

What if I told you to stop wasting your time with job boards and search agents? What if there was an alternative to surfing the web and filling out online applications? Would you give it a try? My advice is simple: get off the computer and start talking to people.

Yeah, but. You are probably coming up with a whole bunch of reasons why you cannot talk to people.

• Yeah, but I am an introvert and I get shy talking to people.
• Yeah, but I am new in town and I don’t have any connections.
• Yeah, but I have already talked to everyone I know and nothing came of it.
• Yeah, but I feel like I am being a pest.
• Yeah, but I don’t even know what I want to do!

Yeah, but this is necessary. We create momentum in our careers when we engage in discussions about topics that light us up. Talking is a necessary pre-cursor to taking action.

Start by hanging out with people who do what you aspire to do. Listen, learn and ask questions. Share your own insights and ideas. This is how you find your tribe and build community.

If you take this approach, many conversations will happen naturally. Some career conversations require a bit more effort to coordinate. It takes courage to ask someone we barely know to share their valuable time with us.

Either way, this is not about hustling your way into an opportunity. It is about being genuinely curious and humbly asking for guidance. Stay true to yourself and do things that align with your style.

As you gain clarity about what you desire, you can be more direct. You might eventually ask a connection, “How would someone go about pursuing a path similar to yours?” Or, “What is the best way for someone to gain the attention of a hiring manager in your organization?” Allow the quality of each relationship to guide the level of support you are requesting.

Sure, you can get a job online but significant opportunities that provide meaning and purpose are born from relationships. Tapping into the so-called “hidden job market” requires making authentic connections with people who share similar interests and values.

Imagine if you had 50 stimulating, exciting career conversations over the course of the next three months. How might this impact your career? Your life? I invite you to turn off the computer and go grab a cup of coffee with someone who inspires you. Re-energizing a sluggish job search and breathing new life into your career begins one conversation at a time.

As I sit down to write this article, I spy a real estate flyer on my desk. The smiling face of the realtor on the glossy newsletter belies the struggle it took to transition from a long career as a teacher to selling real estate. What does it take to transition from being one thing for so many years to doing something completely different?

The quick answer is that it takes a lot of hard work! The longer response is that career transitions require three distinct phases: self-exploration, outreach, and planning. To move through each phase requires an equal measure of courage and support.

The first step forward is actually a journey inward. Most people can quickly rattle off what they don’t like about their current situations. It is more challenging to articulate what we yearn for in our lives.

I get the sense that most of my clients already know what they really want to do. They just don’t believe it is possible. Or, they lack the know-how to make it a reality. We often bury our dreams away because we lack confidence in our skills or we worry about what others will think of our wild ideas.

During the self-exploration phase, give yourself permission to dream big. Carve out time to journal, meditate, and daydream. Tune inward to the whispered messages you receive. This is your life speaking to you and now is the time to listen!

Many of my clients draw mind-maps to illustrate and organize their ideas. Others create vision boards. Some write lists and outlines about how they want their new lives to look and feel. The key is to get ideas out of your head and onto the page.

Our childhood holds important clues about possible career paths. During a counseling session, “Tom” recalled his love of playing in the dirt. His earliest memory was receiving a plastic bucket and shovel as a gift. Tom shook his head and said, “I cannot remember the last time I dug my hands into the earth.”

After years of sitting at a desk staring at a computer screen, Tom is exploring greenhouse gardening. His vision is still developing but now he has a focus. He is ready to enter the outreach phase and begin digging deeper, no pun intended, into his dream.

This is the point at which we reach outside of ourselves for more information. The Internet is a good place to start but eventually you need to talk to people with expertise in the area you are considering. I generally advise clients have 5 to 7 career research conversations before making any decisions.

Listen critically to the information being shared and go beyond the Q and A. Observe people on the job, volunteer, do a practice project. Not only will you gain the clarity you need but you will be making contacts and gaining valuable experience along the way.

Sometimes this is all it takes to send us running back to our old jobs! As the reality of what it really takes to make a career change sinks in, some clients make the choice to remain in their current positions.

We may look at other ways to increase satisfaction such as seeking a lateral move or promotion, pursuing hobbies, taking classes, or community involvement. Perhaps you need to make a stronger commitment to leaving work on time in order to attend to your personal needs.

In some cases, this is not enough. “Molly” had a successful career in human resources working her way into senior leadership. She was paid well, worked with great people, and had a lot of flexibility. “How on earth could I give that up? Simply put, I needed a more meaningful connection to my work.”

As she transitions into the non-profit world, “Molly” will be starting over in terms of salary and other benefits. “It is outright scary to leave the only field I have ever known but after much soul searching, I realize that I want to be more of myself at work and in my personal life. I want to push the gas pedal just as hard heading into work as I do on my way home.”

If you remain committed to making a career transition, the final phase requires planning and goal setting. It could be as simple as rebranding yourself with a fresh résumé and LinkedIn profile. It could mean creating a business plan or going back to school.

Start by setting small goals and holding yourself accountable to a timeline. By taking baby steps towards your dream, you can learn as you go and avoid costly mistakes and setbacks. You won’t get far on your own so continue seeking out the resources and support you need.

Molly offers some final words of wisdom, “Pay attention to what intrigues you, when time flies by, what you read on your newsfeed, and when you think to yourself, “someday, I…” Take small steps now to get where you want but don’t wait years. Start by talking to others that share your area of interest, volunteer, take a class, or join a group.”

When you get overwhelmed, revisit your mind map or vision board to get re-inspired. Reach out to a trusted friend who believes in your dream. Then, roll up your sleeves and push forward.
Career transitions are more like a walk across hot coals than a stroll through the park. They test us. They require sacrifice and risk. Keep in mind that it is impossible to reach for something new without letting go of the old.

It’s a hot market for flipping careers. Rather than feeling stuck in our jobs, many of us are ready to seek out new opportunities that are a better fit. When we see people like Molly and Tom who are successfully revamping their lives, it renews our sense of hope about what is possible.

The job search process is a lot like the weather in Colorado. It can change quickly. After a long dry spell, what often happens for many candidates is that it finally begins to rain – job offers! This brings up a different dilemma: how to successfully negotiate when one or more opportunities or offers are on the table.

This is a nice problem to have as long as you are equipped with the skills to successfully negotiate. The goal is land the best position with the most attractive compensation package possible.

The first thing to keep in mind in terms of negotiating is that you need to maintain your likeability. You won’t win any favors, let alone additional compensation, if you become demanding and difficult during negotiations. You will start off your new position on the wrong foot or the offer could even be rescinded.

This should not deter you from negotiating. It should only serve as a reminder of how essential it is to maintain a positive and professional attitude throughout the entire recruitment process.

Successful negotiations require that candidates know their value in the marketplace while also understanding an employer’s needs and constraints. The following tips can assist you in negotiating a win/win solution for you and a potential employer.

Know your market value
On an emotional level, keep in mind that the company is interested in you. That is why you have an offer in the first place. But, you also need to think rationally and logically about the value of your skills and experience. Acquiring facts helps us resist the tendency to inflate or deflate our value.

Gordon Emory, Principal and Senior Account Executive at the Bradsby Group, a full service executive recruitment firm in Denver, stresses that the key to successful negotiating is determining what you want in your next position and knowing what you are worth.

Use a variety of sources to get a clear picture of salary ranges in your industry and the cost of living in your region. Factor in company size and stage of growth. The Bureau of Labor Statistics (bls.gov) offers salary data and talking to recruiters, trusted colleagues, and career experts can provide greater clarity about the market value of your unique skills and experience.

Consider the total value of an offer
It is always advisable to look at total compensation, especially if you are trying to decide between multiple offers. Health benefits, paid time off, bonuses, and retirement programs should be carefully considered. It is short sighted to focus too heavily on base pay without considering the total value of an offer.

Emory goes one step further to say that, “It can be a red flag when a candidate is solely focused on money. I want to understand a candidate’s interest in the position and the organization – beyond just the salary being offered.”

“I want candidates to look at non-monetary criteria such as the culture, leadership style, and the satisfaction and professional growth to be gained from the work itself when they are considering a position.”

Keep in mind that base pay or salary can be the least flexible aspect of an offer. If you are not happy with the base pay, there may not be much that HR or the hiring manager can do to significantly sweeten the deal for you.

The bottom line is that you need to know your bottom line. Ask yourself if you are satisfied with the base salary before negotiating additional benefits. This can avoid you getting into complicated negotiations only to realize that nothing is really going to make you happy unless the salary is right.

Think like an employer
Knowing your own perspective is only one part of successful negotiating. Candidates also need to consider the needs and constraints of the organization. Emory says, “Look across the desk and try to understand the perspective of the hiring manager or HR professional. “

“Companies need to acquire key talent and they also need to control their compensation costs and maintain internal equity. They want candidates who are really excited about the opportunity. And, they don’t want to be filling this position again any time soon.”

Justify your requests
When considering an offer it is a good idea to list all of the issues that need addressing. Itemize and prioritize your needs. Get a clear understanding of how all the various pieces of the offer fit together.

Nothing drives HR folks and hiring managers crazier than candidates who keep coming back to them with just, “one more little request.” This is where your likeability factor begins to wane. If you are too nitpicky, the hiring team will begin to question your sincere interest in the position.

As you consider your needs, it cannot be stressed enough that you need to justify why you deserve additional compensation or benefits. And, don’t negotiate just to negotiate. Emory stresses, “Candidates must be able to make a clear and compelling case for their requests.”

“It is also important to know your tolerance level. Know where you can flex and where you cannot budge. Think logically and avoid letting your ego get in the way of having a rational discussion.”

Ultimately, the best negotiations are conversations based upon shared needs and goals. Both parties should be prepared to compromise. Emory adds, “If you want something, you also have to give something. Once the negotiations are final, ask for a written letter that outlines the terms agreed upon.”

If you are interviewing, ask yourself if you are prepared to enter the negotiation phase. Don’t be caught in a storm of offers! Effective career management depends on our ability to communicate our worth, justify our value, and understand how we fit into the marketplace – not just during interviews, but also when negotiating our way into a new position and then every single day on the job.