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Recovering from Unexpected Job Loss or a Lay Off

While many of us are happily anticipating the promise of a new year, many others are grappling with the weight of unexpected job loss. After all, ‘tis the season for pink slips, layoffs, and workforce restructuring. Let’s face it, January can feel especially cold and gloomy for job searchers.

When we find ourselves suddenly unemployed, our first instinct is to rush to the computer to polish up our resumés and LinkedIn profiles. This feels proactive and productive. Once these tasks are done, we are left with the raw emotions of our recent experience.

How do we deal with the emotional aspects of being laid off or terminated? We are all unique and situations vary. Therefore, the process of healing is different for everyone. For some clients, the experience is quickly viewed as a “blessing in disguise.” For others, the wounds are deeper, and it takes longer to recover.

Regardless of where you are on this continuum, it is wise to take steps to process the experience in a way that leaves you feeling whole and strong. It is tough to execute an effective search when you are weighed down by emotional baggage. You don’t want to unconsciously carry negative emotions into a networking event or job interview.

Take time to grieve.

Unwanted or unexpected change almost always includes a sense of loss. Even if you were unhappy in your job and considering making a change, you will mourn the loss of the relationships and routines that work provided. You might feel a loss of identity and self-esteem. There is almost always a loss of financial security.

The impact of job loss can be similar to divorce or even the death of a loved one. When we think of it this way, it makes sense to mourn before we jump into a job search. This includes identifying your emotions and processing the experience.

Acknowledge your emotions.

Denial is a common coping mechanism. Avoid the inclination to dismiss or minimize your feelings. Are you hurt, angry, ashamed, scared, sad, vengeful, or confused? All of that and more? Give yourself permission to feel whatever is coming up for you.

The sooner you acknowledge the breadth and depth of your emotions, the sooner you will be ready and able to move forward. Name your emotions. Take time to reflect and journal about your experience.

Many people avoid looking too deeply within for fear of being overcome by their emotions. Research shows that avoiding dealing with feelings can cause more stressors. The negative energy builds up and keeps you stuck.

 Talk about your experience.

Internal processing is a good start, but full recovery includes telling your story – out loud, to the right person, and in a safe setting. It is healing to share your experience with a supportive person who can listen without judgment and without rescuing.

After a termination or lay off, there is often a lingering sense of shame. We wonder what we did wrong or we worry that we might face similar issues in the next job. Some layoffs are completely random. In other cases, we might need to own some of the responsibility.

In either case, you can recover and even grow from the experience. Talking is curative. By sharing your narrative, you begin to tease out the truth. You release unhealthy feelings of shame and replace them with self-compassion and an honest appraisal of yourself and the situation. This lays the groundwork for creating your next chapter.

We live in a “dust off your pants and move on” culture. Getting right back on the horse after a fall is seen as a strength. However, a strength overused can become a weakness. If you are recovering from job loss, take time to grieve. Then you can hop back in the saddle and ride off in the direction of your dreams with confidence and clarity.

 

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Thriving at Work – A Commitment to Self-Care

Work. For many people, “work” is a dirty little four-letter word associated with stress and misery. Sadly, work is something many of us endure rather than enjoy. What if the goal was not to survive but actually thrive at work?

Thriving requires a commitment to self-care – and not just after work or on weekends. In order to thrive personally and professionally, we can create habits that support our well-being while we are at work. After all, work is where most of us spend the majority of our waking hours!

The first step is to get organized. Self-care does not happen by accident. Make a list of goals and activities and gradually begin re-shaping your work day. Keep in mind that it generally takes 21 days to create new habits or make lasting change. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Hydrate yourself– Most of us drink too little water. Buy a large water bottle and add sliced lemons or essential oils. Set reminders on your phone or calendar to ensure that you drink 48 ounces of infused water every day.

Take a lunch break– As tempting as it can be to work through the lunch hour, use this time to unplug from technology and rejuvenate. Take a walk, meet a friend for lunch, hop on your bike or, if possible, take a fitness class. Packing a healthy lunch saves money and allows time for other activities that can help you thrive.

Stock up on healthy snacks– Rather than running to the nearest vending machine or coffee shop for an afternoon pick me up, stock your desk with protein rich foods to increase focus and stabilize blood sugar. Drink herbal teas in the afternoon to ensure you sleep well.

Connect with people– Social connection is linked to improved health and happiness. Share lunch with one or two colleagues or participate in company activities. Be interested in others. Take time to connect in ways that feel authentic and enriching for you.

Advocate for your needs– Whether you need an ergonomic assessment of your work station, a different lighting option or a flexible work schedule – ask!  Don’t be shy about creating a healthy work situation for yourself. This signals to your boss that you are committed to working happily and successfully!

Craft your job– If you are longing for new challenges, be proactive in seeking training, shadowing and job enrichment activities. Employees who are continually learning and growing are much happier (i.e. likely to stick around!) than those who let themselves become stagnate and bored.

Get moving– A step tracking tool helps increase activity. If you have a desk job, get creative in looking for ways to add steps to your day. Gentle stretching at your desk is another way to practice self-care and reduce tension.

Create an inspiring workspace– Your desk or office should reflect your commitment to self-care and wellbeing. An orderly and beautiful workspace can increase creativity and instill a sense of calm – even when work gets stressful!

Breathe– Set a calendar reminder to take 5 deep breaths several times a day. The simple act of breathing deeply does wonders to reduce stress, increase brain function and re-set our attitudes.

These are just a few ideas. Take time to create your own wellness plan. By focusing on self-care throughout the work day, your productivity and energy will rise, and your overall job satisfaction will increase. No more survival mode. It is time to thrive!

Now is always the right the time to choose to work in happy and healthy ways!

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Are You Suffering from Burnout?

Burnout is generally defined as emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. A tell-tale sign of burnout is what I refer to as the “Sunday Evening Blues” – a feeling of dread that hits you when you realize that you need to go to work the next day.

If you well up in tears and begin to cry when you talk about your work, you are likely grappling with more than a mild case of job dissatisfaction. Burnout doesn’t just happen overnight – it evolves over time.

Burnout begins with feelings of apathy, cynicism, and disillusionment. If unaddressed, these feelings can morph into more serious issues such as fatigue, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and substance abuse. Really severe cases can lead to complete breakdowns that require hospitalization.

It is much easier to treat mild burnout, so it is important to recognize and address early warning signs. The following questions can help determine if you are experiencing burnout.

  • Do you struggle to focus on tasks and priorities?
  • Is your performance suffering?
  • Have you lost a sense of accomplishment or satisfaction in your work?
  • Are you inpatient or irritable with customers or colleagues?
  • Do you feel anger and resentment about the way decisions are made?
  • Have you mentally “checked out” and sit silently in meetings or planning sessions?
  • Are you using food, alcohol, or drugs to numb out?
  • Do you suffer from insomnia, headaches, stomach pains, or other physical ailments?
  • Have family and friends commented that you just don’t seem like yourself?
  • Have you stopped doing hobbies or activities that previously brought you joy?

These are some of the ways that burnout manifests but what causes burnout? Causes run the gamut from poor job fit, dysfunctional work cultures, work-life imbalance, mis-matched organizational values, lack of control, chronic stress, and social isolation at work. In my experience, it is rarely a single issue but a combination of factors that lead to burnout.

Studies show that people in “helping professions” such as teachers, counselors, and nurses can be especially prone to burnout. Other factors often associated with burnout include monotonous work, rigid schedules, and jobs that offer little freedom or autonomy. Burnout can simply be the result of working too hard and playing too little.

It is imperative to explore the underlying causes of one’s burnout before making drastic changes. Since the causes can vary, there is no single prescription. For many people, a whole new career will make sense. For others, a job change to a better fit culture might do the trick. Sometimes, a commitment to improved self-care and professional counseling are most helpful.

Once you recognize that you are experiencing burnout, the following steps can help you on your journey to recovery:

  • Identify the root causes of your burnout.
  • See your medical doctor to rule out physical health problems.
  • Consult a counseling professional to address emotional issues.
  • Consider options and take steps to improve your current situation.
  • Address any related time management or organizational skills.
  • Adjust work habits to include short breaks and resist the urge to take work home.
  • Commit to improved self-care including diet, exercise, and sleep hygiene.
  • Socialize more and connect to people outside of work.
  • Explore new career options that align with your interests, skills, and core values.

Regarding those tears I mentioned earlier, they signify distress and sadness. Some people seem to accept burnout as an unavoidable or normal part of working. Don’t give up hope! It is possible to recover from burnout and regain a sense of purpose.

Rather than dismissing your pain, tune in and listen to what you want and need. Through self-exploration, you can then begin to create ways of living and working that are more satisfying and sustainable. If we take our suffering seriously, burnout can become a powerful catalyst for rediscovering our true desires and making meaningful change.

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Re-energize Your Search – One Conversation at a Time

The typical job seeker spends countless hours trolling the internet, crafting clever cover letters, modifying resumes and managing their online applications. For any single opening, a lucky few are interviewed and a single candidate will land an offer. The odds are stacked against the majority of applicants who fall into the “black hole” of a broken recruiting process.

This is where many people get stuck. The black hole is filled with talented new grads, midlife career professionals and seasoned experts who keep doing the same thing hoping for a different result. Eventually, many job seekers give up on their dreams, take survival jobs and choose to wither away in poor fit positions.

Throwing in the towel could be an act of self-preservation in the short term. Receiving cursory rejection letters or, worse yet, getting the silent treatment from employers takes a toll on one’s self-confidence.

What if I told you to stop wasting your time with job boards and search agents? What if there was an alternative to surfing the web and filling out online applications? Would you give it a try? My advice is simple: get off the computer and start talking to people.

Yeah, but. You are probably coming up with a whole bunch of reasons why you cannot talk to people.

  • Yeah, but I am an introvert and I get shy talking to people.
  • Yeah, but I am new in town and I don’t have any connections.
  • Yeah, but I have already talked to everyone I know and nothing came of it.
  • Yeah, but I feel like I am being a pest.
  • Yeah, but I don’t even know what I want to do!

Yeah, but this is necessary. We create momentum in our careers when we engage in discussions about topics that light us up. Talking is a necessary pre-cursor to taking action.

Start by hanging out with people who do what you aspire to do. Listen, learn and ask questions. Share your own insights and ideas. This is how you find your tribe and build community.

If you take this approach, many conversations will happen naturally. Some career conversations require a bit more effort to coordinate. It takes courage to ask someone we barely know to share their valuable time with us.

Either way, this is not about hustling your way into an opportunity. It is about being genuinely curious and humbly asking for guidance. Stay true to yourself and do things that align with your style.

As you gain clarity about what you desire, you can be more direct. You might eventually ask a connection, “How would someone go about pursuing a path similar to yours?” Or, “What is the best way for someone to gain the attention of a hiring manager in your organization?” Allow the quality of each relationship to guide the level of support you are requesting.

Sure, you can get a job online but significant opportunities that provide meaning and purpose are born from relationships. Tapping into the so-called “hidden job market” requires making authentic connections with people who share similar interests and values.

Imagine if you had 50 stimulating, exciting career conversations over the course of the next three months. How might this impact your career? Your life? I invite you to turn off the computer and go grab a cup of coffee with someone who inspires you. Re-energizing a sluggish job search and breathing new life into your career begins one conversation at a time.

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The Hero’s Career Journey

We are all familiar with the hero’s journey. In a nutshell, a hero’s journey is about conquering our fears and overcoming incredible obstacles to go in search of something rare and wonderful. It is the archetype of most movies because we never tire of watching ordinary people do the extra-ordinary.

As a career counselor, I accompany clients on the journey to finding greater purpose and pleasure in their work and in their lives. Each person’s story is unique yet some elements of the hero’s journey play out time and again.

Being called.

We all know stalwart employees who show up at the same job for decades without ever considering doing anything else. More power to them! Then there are those who feel called to a new path. The call could come in the form of an inner yearning, a chance encounter, or a significant life event such as a car accident, lay-off or the passing of a loved one.

I have a client who recently left a secure job in city government to heed a call to build sustainable housing for indigenous and fragile populations. Another is feeling called to leave a high paying healthcare technology gig to coordinate medical mission trips in faraway lands. A third is developing a non-profit that will focus on mentoring at-risk boys.

The hero’s journey begins the moment we decide to answer the call.

Cue the fire breathing dragons.

Heroes have no clue what lies ahead and they go forward anyway. Be forewarned. You will suffer and you will be tested. It is inevitable.

You will face inner demons such as self-doubt, fear of failure or lack of hope. And, you will encounter obstacles and meet up with real world adversaries who seem hell bent on stopping you from reaching your goals. Your job is to overcome each challenge as it arises.

This is the point at which we question ourselves. We wonder if the call was real and we come up with all kinds of logical reasons to scurry back to our hum drum jobs and lives. This is a completely normal plot twist.

In the end, the hero remains committed to the journey. No. Matter. What.

Seek guidance.

Luke Skywalker has Yoda. Dorothy has Glinda the Good Witch. Who will help you along the way? It could be a life coach, a trusted friend, or a colleague that will provide the support you need.

Sometimes all we need is a dose of self-confidence but more often we require practical skills and training to make it to the next stage of the journey. Don’t sit around waiting for a wise mentor to show up out of nowhere. Despite the many similarities, your life is not a movie!

Seek out the help you need to keep moving forward.

Embrace the journey.

Make no mistake, searching for a new career is a hero’s journey. It is a worthy endeavor and requires tenacity, grit, humility and hope. Once we you have embarked on your journey, your life will never be the same.

Even if you don’t quite end up where you intended, you can still choose to feel good about what you accomplished. True heroes celebrate lessons learned and honor the skills they gained along the way. The journey itself is more important than the destination.

For better or worse, the hero’s journey is one worth taking. Why? Because nothing else will bring you closer to self-actualization than staring down your deepest fears to make a dream come true. The greatness inside you is listening. This is your call. Will you answer?

 

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